It seems this requires clickhouse

Via Arya:

"ClickHouse is an open-source column-oriented database management system designed for online analytical processing (OLAP) and real-time reporting. Here are some pros and cons of using ClickHouse: Pros:
High performance: ClickHouse is designed for high-performance querying and data processing, making it suitable for real-time analytics and reporting.
Scalability: It can handle large volumes of data and scale horizontally, allowing for distributed processing across multiple nodes.
Columnar storage: ClickHouse's columnar storage format enables efficient compression and faster querying of specific columns.
SQL support: It supports a SQL-like query language, making it easier for users familiar with SQL to adopt the system.
Open-source: Being open-source, ClickHouse is freely available, and users can customize and extend its functionality as needed.
Cons:
Limited transaction support: ClickHouse does not have full ACID (Atomicity, Consistency, Isolation, Durability) transaction support, which may be a drawback for certain applications.
Not suitable for OLTP: While ClickHouse excels in OLAP workloads, it is not designed for online transaction processing (OLTP) use cases.
Relatively newer system: Compared to other established database systems, ClickHouse is relatively new, which might raise concerns about its maturity and long-term support.
Learning curve: Although it supports SQL, ClickHouse has some unique features and concepts that may require users to invest time in learning and adapting to the system.
Limited ecosystem: As a newer system, ClickHouse's ecosystem of tools, integrations, and third-party support may not be as extensive as more established databases."

But I agree with @jdaviescoates, YOURLS is far from pretty but is extremely reliable.